I’ve been sitting back the last couple days
trying as so many are to make sense of recent violent events from across our
country. I’ve seen the sheeple of
America do what we do best… look for blame instead of looking inside ourselves
for actual positive solutions. “Baa Baa
Gun Control!” said the first sheep. “Baa
Baa Autism!” said the second. “Baa Baa give
teachers’ guns!” said the third. “Baa
Baa Mental illness!” said the next. “Baa
Baa Medication!” said another. “Baa Baa
Bad Parenting!” “Baa Baa Society”, and
so on.
I was hoping the sensationalist media frenzy
would die down a little but since that’s obviously not going to happen and my
facebook is still in a finger pointing typhoon… I feel compelled to say
something.
Yes, I
worry about when Z becomes a teenager and hormones kick in… he’s only 5 and
he’s already almost too much for me to handle physically at times. His moments of protest and anger are fleeting
most days now and to be fair to him they are often justified in situations
where any child would protest. Mostly anymore
if he gets upset, he clenches his teeth, takes a big breath thinks for a minute
till he realizes I’m not going to change my stance and then moves on to
something else but THERE ARE DAYS when he really wants something or really
doesn’t feel like doing something and it pisses him off and hits himself in the
head and chest, sometimes dropping to floor and flailing or refusing to move, yelling
while covering his ears and even occasionally launching himself onto me with a
painful head-butt to the nose & chest or a slap and scratch to my neck.
I look at
Z’s behavioral issues and I remember how bad and scary they were before we
started POSITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY and I am so proud of how far he has come and
know how far he still has to go and I still worry about the future, how can I
not?
Before Autism entered our lives I moved through
life with the knowledge that there were special needs people among us but again,
let’s be honest here… I never really gave it any thought other than to think
things like, ‘gosh that’s so sad’.
I always just assumed that even though some
people were different that they were most likely being taken care of. I assumed that there were all sorts of
resources and programs to help them out; ways for them to access health care,
behavioral care, living spaces, education.
I didn’t realize the horrifying number of
special people that end up homeless from lack of resources and lack of proper
care. I didn’t realize that our country’s
solution is to shove them into the prison system instead of a therapeutic
living situation or hospital because funding for helpful places is not even
close to where it should be.
Special needs communities have been crying for
help for DECADES! Our loved ones need a safe
and nurturing place in society.
It’s not our problem though as a society
right? It’s not our problem that is
until something tragic happens, look… I don’t judge that mentality because
that’s exactly what happened to me… I was totally blind until I was forced to
see, but YOU all can learn from me.
Our families… our AMERICAN FAMILIES need HELP
accessing AFFORDABLE treatments and we need options for our older children and
adults! Don’t read this and tell me
“Good job Brandi!” or “Proud of you Brandi!”
SHOW ME! Show me by signing petitions to help us with
legislation, show me by reaching out to
a special needs person or family in your town getting not just you but your
kids involved within your own community even if it’s as simple as donating your
coffee money one day a month to a different special needs organization. Let’s all take a little responsibility for
teaching, fostering and encouraging tolerance and compassion in our lives to
both typical and special needs children.
If you think for a second that I won’t have to
teach Z how to be tolerant and patient and compassionate with the ignorance
that surrounds him on this earth you would be dead wrong.
YOU CAN open your hearts. You can make a difference from within the
confines of your own busy life and your own problems. You don’t have to be blind like I was, we as
a society cannot afford to continue ignoring the special needs community, not
at the rate that conditions like Autism keep rising! Five years ago we didn’t
know anyone dealing with it and now almost everyone we know, knows someone
else, a cousin, a neighbor, a client who is touched by Autism or some other
special needs condition… that’s insane!
You know its crazy… I can remember seeing
special needs children at school and just assuming they were happy and ok and
learning to the best of their ability… I never bothered to actually find out which
is something I honestly hate myself for now.
I now understand the MONUMENTAL difference just
one act of kindness or actually befriending one of those kids could have made in
their lives and I am so embarrassed that I didn’t reach out.
I can see different sides to a lot of the statements
that have been circumventing the internet the last few days. I’m a MT girl and heck yeah I know how to
shoot, not as good as my older sis but enough to put food on my table if I had
to, so I personally don’t have issues with people owning guns. I was raised to respect them and respect
their purpose and function in life.
I CHOOSE
NOT to have any guns in our home because I RECOGNIZE that my child has no
concept of safety or consequences. (YOU’RE
WELCOME AMERICA) Maybe someday I’ll be able to help him understand; then again
maybe it’ll always be this way, but why even tempt fate?
I know if
the person applying for a permit has had any documented history of mental
illness that they will not be approved but maybe that should be extended to
anyone living in the household… if you have a loved one living in your home
diagnosed with any sort of personality/behavioral disorder no matter the age, then
sorry no gun for you? I understand that’s not really fair t but maybe it’s best
for society in the long run? Don’t shoot
me.. I’m just thinking out loud.
Also, if we’re going to look at putting guns into
the hands of our teachers… Oh hell, why don’t we take it a step further and
just change P.E. class to Assassin Combat Training for the kids too? I mean really America is that the best
solution you can come up with? Plenty of
our schools already have metal detectors why not expand on that a little
bit. Why don’t we install them in the
first set of doors to the schools entrance with turn-styles and the doors only
open if the detector doesn’t go off?
Again, it’s just an idea, maybe it’s a dumb one but at least I’m thinking
and not pointing fingers.
I am perplexed by the fact that we couldn’t even
have one day where we just grieved as a nation without all the finger pointing
and the fact that we couldn’t even have one day where the media leaches weren’t
so desperate for their story that they sunk so low as to interview traumatized
children in hopes of ratings. I have to
be honest… I woke up in the middle of the night Friday and went and curled up
at the foot of my son’s bed for an hour just listening to him snore, quiet tears
streaming down my cheeks unsure of what his/our future holds and thinking how grateful and lucky I am to have him
here, Autism and all!
I don’t know what the answer is: More Guns/Less Guns/Assassin Ninja toddlers
& heat packing teachers/More medication/Less medication/More compassion
& inclusion/Less isolation….????? I
am just as lost as everyone else!
Here is my vow to my fellow Americans: I will continue to push MY son everyday to
help him learn the fundamentals of making right and wrong choices, and more
importantly learn the concept of consequences.
I will continue to work every day to find ways
to empower him to self regulate his emotions and behavior and to find outlets
for him to cope with his sensory issues and to release his emotions in a
positive constructive and hopefully productive way. I’m doing the best that I can with the
resources I have to the point of exhaustion and he’s only 5… I can’t possibly
promise any more than that and if that’s not good enough then all I can say is,
“Baa Baa Baa Baa”.
