7/21/13

We have Ears, Say Cheers to the Happiest Place on Earth!

We've been waiting to take Z to Disneyland because we wanted to make sure he'd get something from it and that he'd have wonderful memories.  He's been super into Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and My friends Tigger and Pooh for the last year and a half.  He watched the shows before but now he actually comprehends their lessons and interacts with them. Yes he's too old by typical standards... he is 6 1/2 and should be watching Ninja Turtles, Lego's Star Wars, and various super heroes... but that's just not where he is at.  The fact that he is comprehending the toddler shows the way he should have 3 years ago at all is a blessing.  With Autism we've learned to understand that Better-Late-Than-Never is perfectly OK.  Yes he's behind but the focus has to be on the fact that he continues to make progress, learn and grow.  There are parts of him that are hyper accelerated in their development and parts that are still way underdeveloped.  Welcome to Autism it's truly an enigma. We're in a Marathon not a sprint here and we have a whole lifetime to get him where he's supposed to go.

Anyway... back to Disney!

So this is the year because he knows all the characters and also watches several Disney movies.  I was so nervous:  would he be able to handle the sensory overload with all the people, sounds, movement and the heat of the July weather?  What about the waiting, the dreaded waiting?  My sons concept of time is that of a two year old, 5 minutes may as well be 45 minutes to him.  He's come a long way and can handle a good 10-15 if we really have to, but once he's done y'all better look out because he will melt down and it's just over at that point.

In the past I'd heard about a disability pass that other Autism parents had been able to get so that the wait time for rides would not take as long but then a national news story broke a few months ago about wealthy people hiring people with Autism and other disabilities to get the pass and then take their perfectly fine children and families through the disability lines.   To say I was disgusted by that is an understatement, not just with the typical people but also the disabled people who find no issue with abusing such a wonderful privilege.  I was worried that this story was going to ruin it for those of us who really need the pass.

We made the walk from our hotel to Disney, through the initial check, bought our tickets then through the main gate we went and promptly got in line at the Town Hall. My stomach was in knots, I was so nervous and I didn't know if I should bring Zander with me or not.  Z looks normal, what if they didn't believe me?  I decided to chance it and after a short 4 minutes we were in front of a Disney Employee asking for our pass. My mouth was dry and I stumbled over my words to explain why he can't wait 20/30 minutes in line and offered up a copy of his diagnosis and was prepared for rejection when as if on cue Z started verbal stemming and jumping around like a monkey.  I've never been so happy to see his Autism behaviors before in my life lol!  The employee was so sweet and asked how many were in our party and then gave us the pass.

That's where Disney has it wrong and that's a big part of how their kindness is being repeatedly abused.  We have a let's see what we can scam and get away with for free mentality in our society... who's it gonna hurt? Well it can hurt plenty of people actually.  The passes should only be for the the disabled person and one to two parents or caregivers and then any siblings that are with them period.  Not extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends and if the person with the disability isn't actually riding the rides then they shouldn't be allowed the pass either.  We saw blatant abuse of this system all day.

I almost threw down with two women old enough to be my own grandmother at the dumbo ride!  It was our last ride of the night.  Zander had made it through the whole day at the park, back to the hotel for swimming , back to the park for fireworks with zero meltdowns and all he kept asking for that night was Dumbo, Dumbo and more Dumbo.  Between being herded and corralled like sheep for the fireworks and then the wait for Fantasy-land to reopen afterward he'd already waited so long, like a champ and he was so excited to finally be in line at the Dumbo Gate.  I was so proud of him and we were in the home stretch but had to wait just a bit longer because the attendant explained he'd already done the head count for the upcoming ride but that we could go on the one after that. "No problem" I smiled at him and then whispered to Z, "You can do it Z, just a bit longer"as I applied some deep pressure squeezes to his shoulders and arms. I positioned him at the front of the exit gate with two hands on the rail watching the ride and just kept whispering "Good waiting bud, nice waiting, so proud of you" and was also trying to give him a mental visual by explaining, "First those people will ride, Next Zander will ride, First, Next, First, Next".  He was doing awesome and out of the corner of my eye I could see a wheel chair pushing through the exit line and I could hear the ladies telling people rudely to move out of the way and I knew I was going to be next.

The driver practically ran over my foot with the wheel chair and I calmly smiled and said, "Excuse me but we're in line" and she snapped, "Excuse us, but you need to move." As respectfully as I could because they were elderly after all through clenched teeth I stated that, "No ma'am, WE'RE IN LINE.  We've been waiting here, ask the attendant."  "Move and let us through" the driver snipped, to which I said in a tone that basically says (DUH), "we have a pass"and shrugged my shoulders.  They both start yelling at me, "Um excuse please, you need to move your child! This area is for disabled people only!"

Did you hear that snapping sound?  Yep that's the SHE-HULK ripping it's way out of my otherwise normal neglected pudgy housewife body... This time I actually whipped out my pass and with what I'm sure was one of the ugliest/angriest faces I've ever made because now I'm in Mommy Bear mode; I shove my pass in their faces and yell very LOUDLY and slowly, "MY.... SON... IS... Dissssaaaabbbllleed... WE HAVE A DISABILITY PASS and he has been waiting very patiently so NO YOU WILL NOT go ahead of him, he's 6 and you're what? how old?!"  and then I turned around and grabbed the rail on either side of my sons hands and for a split second honestly felt like I could snap it off.

I heard them gasp and scoff at first in disbelief that I could be so rude to them and then after about 30 seconds a forced attempt at an apology..."Oh sorry there's just people that wait in the exit line and we just thought you were waiting too."  I didn't even respond, I just stayed with my back turned and kept my sight on the attendant who gave me a sympathetic smile because he had witnessed the whole thing.

After a few more minutes we were settled on our dumbo ready to fly and here comes the "disabled" lady up and out of her wheel chair walking perfectly fine to dumbo laughing and 7 (SEVEN) OTHER NOT DISABLED people in her party to get on the ride with her.  She used her age and inability to walk long distances to get her children and grandchildren on the ride even though they were perfectly fine, unreal!

I am so grateful to Disney for that pass, I hope that it is something they will continue to do but I also hope they make it harder to get one, limit the number of people in the parties and required documentation about the disability from doctors, therapists, even school.  It truly made the difference for Z, without it we wouldn't have lasted even 1 ride and Z would have been upset, melting down, probably hitting himself in the head, crying and all that money would have been out the window.  Instead, he rode the rides like every other child there, and it made it so that when he did need to wait in long lines to meet the various characters much easier to deal with. He now has the same amazing memories that anyone who goes as a child has and for one brief day in our crazy life we actually felt like a "normal" family.  Thank you Disney and thank you to all our family that helped make that trip a possibility!  We can't wait to make more memories there with him again next year!